Dealing with Uncertainty

A concern that often comes up in counselling sessions is: How do I deal with the uncertainty life brings?

This uncertainty often manifests as a cascade of thoughts, filled with potential "what ifs" and "how will I cope?" scenarios. What if I can’t find a job? What if I don’t like the job I get? Where will I live? How can I afford a house? What if my relationship ends? What does the future hold? What if I make the wrong decision? The list of worries can go on and on, and often, it does.

Isn't it fascinating how our minds are so quick to imagine the worst-case scenarios, but not as skilled at spotting the many joys and opportunities life might offer?

So, what ties all of this together?

The common thread is fear. Fear-based thoughts fuel anxiety, making us feel stuck, helpless, and out of control.

Why does this happen?

You can thank evolution for that! Our brains are wired for survival. In simple terms, we feel safer when life is stable and predictable. When we can predict what’s coming, our brain's "threat detector" doesn’t get triggered as easily.

But here’s the truth: life is unpredictable, and one thing we can be sure of is that we can never fully know what the future holds. Uncertainty is part of the human experience.

What can we do to better manage it?

First, it may seem like our brain is working against us, but it’s actually just doing its job- keeping us alive. While we can appreciate that (and maybe even be a little amazed by how clever our brains are), there are ways we can "hijack" this response and reduce the uncomfortable feelings and reactions that come with it.

A key strategy is shifting how we approach uncertainty. It might seem counterintuitive, but acknowledging that there are limits to what we can predict or prepare for can actually help calm our minds. Embracing uncertainty, rather than resisting it, can be incredibly relieving. After all, while our brain is constantly scanning for potential problems, it often overlooks the amazing opportunities and experiences that could be just around the corner.

Even more important is resilience. This quality is often overlooked or dismissed, but it’s crucial when it comes to managing fear and uncertainty. While we can’t control everything about the future, we can build awareness of and strengthen our resilience. We all have the capacity for resilience, and like any other skill, it can be developed. When we’re resilient, we’re better equipped to face challenges with adaptability and ease.

Finally, a powerful strategy is connecting with the present moment. When we focus on the here and now, our worries about the future tend to fade into the background, and we conserve energy for what’s right in front of us. There’s no one-size-fits-all way to stay present, but here are some ideas to try:

• Engage in activities that encourage full absorption, such as playing an instrument, singing, dancing, crafting, or playing sports.

• Spend time in nature—whether it’s a walk on the beach, a hike in the woods, or simply watching wildlife go about their day. Allow yourself to get lost in the beauty of the moment.

• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) can be particularly helpful in managing these concerns. It offers skills and strategies, such as those listed above, to assist in this process. DBT emphasizes tolerating emotions when feeling overwhelmed and incorporating mindfulness into daily practice. With its core principle of balancing acceptance with change, DBT helps us accept that uncertainty is an inevitable part of life, while also empowering us to navigate it with greater resilience and less fear.

  
  

I encourage you to take a moment to reflect on these ideas and experiment with incorporating them into areas of your life where you’re feeling uncertain about the future. - Alicia

To find our more about Alicia or book a session visit: https://www.mindfulrecovery.com.au/aliciacoleman